Relationships!! Alfred Adler said these are the most challenging task of our lives. Aaron Beck said that all problems stem from relationships and it doesn’t take much clarity to see that this is the case. All forms of distress or conflict are in some way related to an individuals relationship with themselves and/or their relationships with others. Many grounded theorists offer that we mirror our internal relationship onto our external ones.
Aldred Adler suggested for all of our lives, each and every day in some way zip left and right along our internal slippery road, from a feeling of superiority to inferiority, making calculations of where we think we are, above or below another and then think and behave to either maintain our position or change it.
Relationships with another by their nature will be a mixture of collaboration, ruptures, disconnection, connection, collaboration. The ebb and flow of this natural pattern of two people learning and developing together will depend greatly on their individual ideas of what position the other person ‘should’ take, how they ‘should’ be, who they ‘should’ be. We often set the other up in a inferior or superior position and they go about a game plan to keep them in that place, inflate them or deplete their position. If their is a consistentant pattern of ruptures and disconection then there is a unnecessary level of distriess in the relationship.